So many aha moments are unfolding in life! I keep hearing the saying: "Nothing is different but everything has changed." This certainly has been the case for me.
I have been exploring my creativity from a new angle. What if efforting, planning, trying, sticking to an art practice and basically "forcing" one's self to create, is contrary to how the creative process works? What if a sense of urgency is the polar opposite of the creative flow state?
For me, this is the truth. I'm learning to create because it is the next inclination that shows up. And I'm finding the freedom from "have to's," both a relief and a challenge to my habitual way of doing things. Challenge seems to accompany change. We, humans, are a curious lot!
Just to be clear, I'm not seeing myself as a person who is done creating and contributing. Quite the opposite. My creativity and contribution are starting to move from a deeper knowing or innate wisdom. This is a huge shift! I'm just barely scratching the surface of what this means moment by moment. And I have all those doubts and fear-thoughts still piping in trying to derail me. The difference is I just don't believe them as often or give them as much attention, then they pass.
As I move through my moment to moment experience, if I have an inclination to paint a particular color or use a certain tool, I pay attention and move with the inclination. Right now, typing this blog is coming from the same place. It occurred to me and now I am typing it.
I'm also getting a sense of this understanding leading to a broader way of contributing. The inspiration to share, creating from the inside out, is unfolding slowly and I am learning to listen and follow that inclination. And when I get distracted, I'm learning not to add judgment or efforts to fix it. And then I'm in the moment again.
This new understanding is forever deepening and evolving. Life is movement and change. I'm leaning into it instead of fighting with it. It isn't in our nature to be stuck, even if we have a habit of thinking we are.
I'm so grateful to know that no matter how much I feel off track, my mind will settle back to the natural resting state of innate wellbeing. In this place, flow just happens.